Lady of Swords
by Rufious
Summary: The Calormene have overrun Narnia and in a desperate plea for help Queen Susan's horn has been blown again. However it ain't the Pevensies coming this time. Blatant self-insert, done for for kicks and fun.
1. Chapter 1

I forcefully shut the door of the garage with an angry kick. Today was one of these days were nothing seemed to go right from the start. My alarm had decided to give up on me, and it was my mum who had woken me up just to tell me that I was already half an hour late. When I'd finally come down to the kitchen, only half clothed and still putting on a sock it was only to discover that SOMEBODY ( probably my little brother) had emptied the milk pack and hadn't bothered to get a new one. I had to eat my breakfast at topspeed and when I finally made my way to the garage it was only to realise I had forgotten my bag in my room, all the way upstairs. So yeah I was kind of pissed this morning. I was more or less back on time however so maybe I could still arrive on time at the lecture. My professor was a strict one and though I usually liked him well enough I did not want to meet him when I was running late. I jumped on my bike and started to pedal as fast as possible.

I couldn't stay pissed for long though. It was one of those cold March mornings and the resulting mist reduced the visibility down to five meters max. Though some may find riding in the mist rather creepy I've always loved it. I like to think that the mist is in fact a portal of some kind that one day will wisk me away to another wondrous magical world. Yeah call me a baby or a dreamer, I won't deny it.

I was pleasantly lost in my own thoughts when I realised that something was approaching, fast. I looked over my shoulder and felt the cold rush of adrenaline when I saw two headlights awfully close to my wheel. I did not have even the time to curse let alone swerve aside. I felt something hit my bike and before I knew I was making something akin to a shoulderroll in the grass verge. God I've never been so happy for the karate lessons. I stood up, looked if I had anything, and then looked around. Mist, mist and again mist and no sign of the car. If I had been pissed then I was now furious. What kind of asshole pumbs a biker and doesn't even stop?  
-Hey asshole! Do you know what they call people like you ? Bloody cowards! Yeah be happy that there is mist or I would have reported you to the police. For you know what they do to cowards like you? They get into jail! And you'd better not meet me again or else I'll kick your balls from here to Tokyo and back, asshole!  
Yeah you can scratch furious I was downright murderous. I wasn't really angry about the accident it self. Hell it was already the third time this year I had been bumped by a car and I guess I had been spacing out a bit. But if there was one thing I hated, then it was people who didn't take responsibility for their deeds. And riding away after being involved in an accident, even a minor one was one of the worst examples of such I had run out of insults in English I switched to Dutch and after that I switched to French. In the end though I also ran out of insults in that language too which is quite a feat. The car-driver was clearly not coming back and I still had that lecture to catch. I could see something blue in the grass few meters away from me, which I suspected to be my bag. I ended up being right. To my relief nothing had spilled out of it or been damaged and I went in search of my bike. Then something struck me as odd. I had been biking on the Ladies'Road which was lined by canals on both sides. I should have hit water by now. In fact it was quite a miracle I hadn't fallen in when I was bumped off my bike. I froze. What the hell? I tried to look past the mist. Only grass, but then the fog was rather thick. I ignored the little part of my brain that told me that the mist wasn't that thick. I took five steps. Since I neither hit the road nor the canal I presumed I was now walking in the length of the verge. I made a ninety degree turn and started again. Again no road or canal. I repeated the operation a couple of times and still no road or canal. I started to take more steps. The road and the canal still remained elusive. After ten minutes searching I was forced to accept that wherever I was this wasn't the Ladies' Road. I sank down in the dew-strewn grass, stunned.  
-'the Hell  
I sat there for ten more minutes before strange sounds reached my ears. Cries, the clash of steel on steel, and yet another sound that made my stomach jump up in my throat. I refused to aknowledge but that little purely logical part of my brain still supplied a name for it: the sound of steel cutting flesh. I stood up and hesitated. What should I do? The caring part of my brain , that part that had urged me to become a med student, wanted to rush at whoever was crying out like that and help him, stop him from crying. Another part of my brain, that logical, self-preservating part, told me that whatever was going on there it was serious stuff and that I most probably would get killed. Before I could actually decide what I was about to do, I realised that sound was coming closer, fast. Then suddenly something stumbled out of the mist. No not something, someone. We stared at each other for a while. He was dark-skinned, and blood-spattered, wearing clothes that made me think most of the Arabs during the crusades. Confused as I was, the first thing I thought was: 'He's kinda cute'. Then he suddenly sneered and charged scimitar raised.  
-Taaaaaaassssh!  
Again I blessed the reflexes six years of martial arts training had given me. My mind went blank but unlike most people my body did not. Before I had realised what was happening I had side stepped the blade and had sent one of my trade-mark high kicks to the guy's head. He staggered and blinked. I was surprised he was still standing. The force I had put into that roundhouse should have concussed him six ways from sunday but he merely seemed a bit dazed and bloody-nosed. My throbbing shin explained the reason. The bastard was wearing a helmet under that turban. He now looked positively furious.  
-You little, devil-worshipping bitch!  
-Oooh crap!  
He came at me again but this time he was more wary and he made sure I couldn't get close. All I could do was duck and dodge for dear life. I had to find a solution fast.

The solution came rather unexpectedly with the sound of galloping hooves. My attacker's eyes went wide and he tried to run away. He had not made two steps however when four horse legs appeared in my vision field together with a very big sword. No quarter was given and before I could blink my eyes my attacker had been dispatched. I was shocked. Not because of the speed and mercilessnes at which my opponent had been killed, but rather by the fact that whoever was wielding the sword was not riding a horse but part of one. Wherever I was it wasn't in the Netherlands and it probably wasn't even on earth anymore. For honestly when was the last time that a _Centaur_ had been sighted?


	2. Chapter 2

The Centaur turned towards me and for a moment I thought he would atack me too. He looked kind of threatening with that big claymore of his, still dripping with blood. Then he extended a hand.  
-Hop on lass. The Calormene are coming closer and they aren't known for taking prisoners.  
By lack of any other options I took the centaur's hand and before I knew I was firmly seated on his back.  
-Hold on!  
And hold on I did. The last time I had ridden anything remotely equine had been six years ago and that had been a shetlander. The centaur was taller and much faster than Tutsi and I was mortally afraid to fall off. I had fallen of horses before of course but never at such high speeds. I didn't seem to have completely forgotten my riding lessons though and after a while I found myself actually moving with the centaur instead of simply bumping along. If my situation hadn't been so strange I would have whooped. Soon we joined with a group creatures as strange if not stranger than my centaur. I saw a couple of other centaurs, a few fauns, three dwarves and a rather threatening creature I could only call a minotaur. They all were bloodied and battle-wary. And so were the beasts that accompanied them. I'd never seen such a diverse assortment of different animals walk so peacefully together. I saw three cheetahs, four badgers, a couple of deer, a horse, a three mice and one squirrel. All walked together as if it was perfectly normal to do so and they weren't prey and predator. I wondered what kept them here and from each others throats. That is untill one of them, the horse, spoke up and nearly made me fall of my Centaur's back.  
-Oi Stellos! What in Aslan's name made you run off like that!  
-I had to follow a hunch.  
-The Lion's Mane. Centaurs and their hunches. We don't have time right now for you to follow your 'hunches'! The Calormene are on our heels and I'm pretty sure the only thing that keeps them from finding us is the mist. We have to hurry before it dissipates.  
' Well what are we waiting for then?' my centaur, or rather Stellos, replied smartly. The horse snorted which I supposed was the horse-equivalent of an exasperated sigh. They set off into a trot. Though it wasn't the neckbreaking speed at which Stellos had gone before it was still a ground-eating pace and I could sense the urgency that was hanging over the company.  
-Hey Stellos, who did you bring with you?  
I searched for the speaker. It was one of the mice who was firmly seated on one of the cheetahs'back. Suddenly I found myself stared at by a few dozen eyes. They hadn't really paid attention to me untill now but the mouse's question had drawn all attention to me.  
-Yeah tell us!  
-It looks like a human!  
-WHAT!  
The company fell silent again.  
-Why in Aslan's name did you bring a human along, Stellos?  
It was the horse and he looked postively furious now.  
-Hey calm down Carl. She's not a Calormene. She is too pale for that.  
The horse, or rather Carl, visibly relaxed at that.  
-In fact even for a Telmarine she looks rather pale. You sure she is not ill, Stellos?  
Before I could find the speaker this time I found myself with a handull of red fur in my lap, and with a little clawed paw firmly on my forehead.  
-Well she doesn't have a fever.  
My eyes finally focused to look straight into the concerned little face of the squirrel.  
-Maybe she is one of those fancy Telmarine ladies who never go outside ?  
The faun who had said that scoffed.  
-Hey guys I can speak for myself you know!  
They fell into a rather embarassed silence when they realised they had been speaking about me as if I hadn't been there. The squirrel was the first to speak again.  
-Oh excuse us for our behavior Lady. These are rather stressfull times....  
The minotaur snorted at that.  
-... and one does tend to forget his manners, in times like these. Please tell us who you are.  
-Well... uhm  
I was a bit flustered at the sudden expectant silence. I didn't know what I could tell and what not. This was not my world anymore as much was clear, and I did not know if these strange creatures where known with cases like me, or I would be declared as mad. I decided to tell them the bare minimum about how I got there and speak only in general terms about where I came from. This world still seemed to be in some sort of Middle-Age so would I avoid any mention of modern things.  
-Well I'm Yannick Frequin and yes I know it's a boy's name. I'm Dutch... well at least half since Mom is Belgian, and eeeehm..... I kind of got lost, so I really don't know how I got here.  
_Smooth, girl, real smooth. Got lost heh?  
_-Dutch... does that mean you are from... Dutchland? I've never heard of that country.  
That was one of the Badgers.  
-Well actually my country is called the Netherlands but it doesn't really surprise me you don't know it. It is eeeehm, kind of far away.  
_It gets better every time doesn't it?  
_The badger was about to ask further when he got interrupted by Stellos.  
-Leat it rest, Holdfast. Lady Yannick clearly is confused and I doubt she will be able to answer all your questions.  
I gave inaudible sigh of relief. I didn't miss the knowing glance the Stellos shared with the other Centaurs though. They knew something.


End file.
